


Stiles Stilinski: The Great Suspension

by MellytheHun



Series: Stiles Stilinski: Your In-Flight Entertainment [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flight Attendants, Flight Attendant Stiles, Flight Attendants, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Pilot Derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-04-01 01:25:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4000675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MellytheHun/pseuds/MellytheHun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After tons of requests, I tackled this AU again for a short continuation. Hope you enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stiles Stilinski: The Great Suspension

Chris sighs and tells Derek, “I can’t lift his suspension yet.”

“Why.”  


“He got in a lot of trouble, Hale. I can’t just lift his suspension early. He’s off. Two weeks and he’ll be back. Is Erica all that bad a substitute?”  


“No,” Derek answers, looking down at his hands, “She’s just not as…”  


“Charming?” Chris offers knowingly.  


Derek gives him a warning look, “Not my first choice of adjective to describe Stilinski, but if it gets him back on my plane sooner, then yes.”

“It won’t.”  


“Then no.”  


Chris smirks, picks up some papers resting on his desk and clears his voice before explaining,

“Well, this complaint got him in some serious trouble, because there was an aggressively Christian, scandalized old woman aboard when he considered it appropriate to shout over the PA system - and I _quote_ -”  


Chris looks down at the paper and reads aloud,

“ _Ahem_ , ‘Hell yeah, turn the fuck up for Captain Hale.’ You recall that at all?”  


Derek is staring up and away when Chris looks up to him.

“Can’t say I do.”  


Chris laughs, shaking his head fondly, “funny how your memory is so infallible until it comes to Stilinski.”

“If funny’s what you wanna call it.”  


Chris’ smirk threatens to turn into a grin.

“Well, if there’s one thing I’ve heard about Stilinski, it’s that he’s funny.”  


Derek crosses his legs and says, “well, he’s definitely something.”

“Can you recall any other times Stilinski has maybe had a little too much gusto on the job?”  


+

“Ladies, gentleman and she-beasts of Savannah flight 204, we are running way behind, so please quickly find your seats and buckle in - there may be fifty ways to leave your lover, but there are only four ways out of this airplane and I’d like to brief you on potential exit plays before we blast off into the sky!”  


Boyd chuckles, buckling into his own seat and looking to Derek.

“She-beasts is new,” he mentions.  


Derek shrugs, sighing on a smile, “he’s in a fight with Lydia, so I’m pretty sure that was meant to include her.”

Boyd gives a hearty belly laugh at that.

+

In the middle of Stiles’ (semi)normal exit protocol rundown on a Las Vegas flight, someone interrupts him to ask a question that the PA mic doesn’t pick up.

Stiles laughs into the PA and replies to the person,

“Ohhh. Oh my. I am not sure how long it’s been since you’ve been on a flight, sir - I’m - okay, the smoking section is actually on the left wing of the plane, so, if you can light ‘em, you can smoke ‘em. You’ve earned it at that point.”  


There are a few chuckles and then Stiles follows that by saying,

“No. No there isn’t a smoking section, so please do not try to exit the plane. That will put a real damper on the day for us all.”  


+

“Hello, San Antonio flight 511,” Stiles greets happily, still ushering people into the aisle, “Today’s flight is a full one, so snuggle in and get cozy, because we’ve got about five hours to learn too much about one another’s bodily functions. Keep your smaller bags by your feet when you are seated, do not get up out of your seats until the coveted Captain Hale deems it safe, the overhead button with a light bulb turns on the light, the overhead button with a flight attendant does _not_ turn on your flight attendants and please do not ask for Holy water, if adequate supply is available, I will offer it.”

“He’s on a roll today,” Boyd jokes to Derek.  


“You think?”  


“First he tells the Tampa flight that you’re bewitching, then he told the San Jose flight that you’re _titillating_ -”  


“Hey,” Derek interjects haughtily, “I am a goddamn delight.”  


Boyd seems sort of shocked that he’s laughing and then he says,

“I didn’t realize some tail would get you into such a good mood!”  


“He’s more than tail,” Derek says certainly, “A lot more.”  


“Oh?” Boyd asks.  


Derek nods without saying much else for the rest of the flight.

+

Stiles has been on his feet for four consecutive flights, he’s got lines under his eyes and his hair is a little mussed. He steps into the cockpit with a mug of Derek’s coffee, but he doesn’t hand it over until he’s taken a deep gulp of it.

“You don’t look so hot,” Derek mentions worriedly.  


“Thanks, Sugarplum.”  


Derek rolls his eyes, “don’t sass me, Stiles. You look like you haven’t slept in a week.”

Stiles smirks, leaning against Derek’s shoulder with his waist.

“Well, my nights haven’t been too full of _sleep_ lately.”  


Derek mutters into his coffee, “don’t you put the blame on me.”

“Oh, I blame you.”  


He leans down and kisses Derek’s cheek, tipping the Captain’s uniform hat easily with his forefinger.

“Back to the grind, Captain.”  


Derek’s ears get hot; Stiles knows how Derek’s body appreciates being called ‘Captain’ by him. 

When Stiles is back out on the floor, Derek hears him over the PA;

“Okay, we’re picking seats, not furniture, folks, let’s get this show on the road!”  


+

“What are you doing.”

“How do you ask questions without asking?” 

Derek is staring at his three flight attendants, all of them donning feather boas and holding a sizable box of rubber ducks.

“You know what?” Derek offers, half-turning away, “I’m going to live a longer, happier life not knowing.”

With that, he shuts the door to the cockpit and tries to wash the image from his brain.

+

“Good afternoon, flight 607, I would like to be the first to formally apologize for the fact that this plane will be landing in Columbus, Ohio. I’m just… very sorry that the events of your lives have unfolded in such a way that you are headed to Ohio. My condolences.”  


“I’m always a little surprised when no one punches him,” Derek initiates casually.  


Boyd shrugs, “I don’t think Ohio natives are very well known for violence, I’m pretty sure they’re all aware that Ohio is terrible.”

“What _are_ Ohio natives known for?” Derek asks curiously.  


Boyd contemplates that for a few seconds.

“…corn?”  


+

“Now, usually I have to work under the thumb of pilots that are less than charming. In fact, a descriptor I used for my last pilot was ‘uneducated, self-important glorified bus driver,’ however - you all are in for a treat, because you’ve boarded Captain Hale’s plane. He has a highly talented cat, a body like Adonis and symmetry of the face that forces you to reconsider that maybe dreams _do_ come true. While all of that is very interesting to me, what is probably more interesting to you is that he’s an amazing Captain.”  


Boyd is side-eyeing Derek with a satisfied smirk that would look more natural on a thirteen year old girl’s face upon hearing a juicy rumor. 

“His co-pilot, remarkably tall, very dark and equally handsome, Boyd, will be assisting us on our way to Charlotte, North Carolina today. Your flight crew today includes myself, your funk soul brother and these two lovely ladies who you may refer to as the bad mamma jammas. Flight 204, you are in for a funky-fresh flight and if you are wondering if this is the result of sleep deprivation, you can rest assured that, yes, it is and I am exhausted.”

+

For some reason, coming back from a Detroit flight, it takes Derek a few tries to get them solidly on the asphalt. He came in a little too hot and, as always, Stiles has to comment on it.

“While Captain Kangaroo hops us up to the gate, I would just like to remind you all that during the flight, your bags may have shifted in the overhead compartments or inexplicably been filled with rubber ducks and to be wary of that when opening them and preparing to de-plane. Please do make sure that all of your belongings are accounted for, they will otherwise be shared evenly amongst the flight crew; this is inclusive of small children and unhelpful spouses. While our time together was brief in the scheme of the meaningless, patternless stream of space-time, I’d like you all to know that it will have a special place in my heart and, as always, the next time you get the reckless impulse to blast yourself through the sky in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of Alpha Airlines.”  


+

“I can’t think of any.”  


“None?” Chris asks, disbelievingly.  


“Nothing comes to mind.”  


Chris sighs exhaustedly, leaning back in his chair.

“Fine. I’ll shorten his suspension to one week. Are we good?”  


Derek nods and offers his hand to shake, which Chris takes.

“You’re a cute couple, by the way.”  


Derek goes a little stiff, nervous and hot-faced.

“If there’s anything cute to my life, it’s probably concentrated wherever Stiles is.”  


Chris smiles and doesn’t bring up going to HR or corporate. 

+

Stiles is draped over Derek’s living room couch, petting his cat when Derek gets home. The cat jumps up to greet him at the door and so does Stiles.

“I didn’t think you’d still be here,” Derek confesses, already undoing his tie.  


“Well, Botched was on and you know how I am about plastic surgery disasters and then it was nine pm - you know how this goes. How was work? Am I still in the time-out corner?”  


Derek smiles and crouches down to pet his cat.

“Yes, but for a week less than you were originally.”  


“Agh!” Stiles complains, “Don’t they understand what danger they’re putting me in?? They’ve replaced me with a beautiful, blonde bombshell that doesn’t talk nearly as much or half as shrilly! My status is in danger!”  


“Stiles,” Derek starts with a tone of humor, “you’re mad about missing work because you think I’ll want to date Erica?”  


Stiles pouts and sinks down to sit on the floor.

Derek notices then that Stiles is wearing one of his shirts.

“Man, I dunno. This is still sort of new and I’ve got anxiety issues and, man… I’m just… I just don’t like… not seeing you everyday.”  


Derek feels his neck and face get hot. Stiles rubs at the back of his neck and looks away.

“God, I probably sound like a stalker now. Am I being creepy? I’m sorry if I’m being creepy. It’s just… I see you all day almost everyday and -”  


“I don’t like not seeing you everyday too.”  


Stiles looks back into Derek’s eyes at that and smiles sweetly.

“Yeah?”  


“Mhm,” Derek replies, reaching out for Stiles’ hand with the one the cat isn’t lying on, “What’s say you and I go out tonight?”

“Dude,” Stiles starts, “You have a flight at five am.”  


“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Derek brushes off, standing up, “Come on. I’ll tell you about how not-funny Erica was about deboarding and how into her Boyd is.”  


“Wait, Boyd is into her?” Stiles asks as Derek leads them out the door to his car, “Aha! And she’s not funny! My dark sense of humor is part of my undying charm, right? I’ve set the bar too high, I see! In all interactions and work spaces, I like to establish myself as the funniest person, so this is all good news.”  


Derek spends a lot of the night nodding, smiling and catching up on the laughter he didn’t get to enjoy during the workday. 


End file.
